It's almost Easter and you know what that means, don't you? Peeps!

Bug: "You want to know something? I love Peeps."

Me: "Me, too!"

Bug: "They're marshmallow, sugar goodness."

Mmmmmm, yes they are! It wouldn't be Easter without 'em!

Tags: Little Bug | Just for Fun | Observations

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Sometimes, you have to ditch your plans, go with the flow, cease the moment.

Weekends are busy times in our household, as they are in most households where children live. During the winter months, our weekends revolve around ski racing - practices and travel to various mountains at ungodly hours of the morning for races. More times than not, I'm relieved when Monday arrives so I can catch up on the things that ought to consume my weekends. 

Yesterday was one of those rare days when ski practice was all that was going on with Bug. So, I had plans - plans for laundry, house cleaning, catching up on the checkbook, grocery shopping, and whatever else I could fit in. 

And then, after delivering Bug to the mountain first thing in the morning, I surrendered any thoughts of planning. I buckled up my ski boots, took the ticket a friend had given me for Christmas, and hit the slopes with my son. 

It was pure joy. He laughed, I laughed. It was one of those memory-builder days, the kind he'll someday remember when his kids are little and he abandons all to play. 

I'll do the laundry tomorrow. 

Tags: Little Bug | Introspection

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When I was in school, I was a horrible speller. When I needed to know how to spell a word, my mother would always tell me, "Sound it out." Even when I was a reporter, I would call her up and ask her how to spell words.

I have been cured of that disability, though. Today, I could win any of the Spelling Bees my elementary-school teachers encouraged me to join.

What's changed, you ask?

These days, I'm the mother and that all-too-familiar question is haunting me. "Mom, how do you spell..."

Tags: Just Me

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My dad has always loved taking pictures. When I was a kid and my parents would have guests or family at the house, he'd always be doing slideshows.

First, he'd set up the collapsible projection screen, release the legs into the tri-pod position, pull up the extension pole and unfurl the sparkly white screen. Then, he'd set up the projector, plug it in and turn on the projection light. Finally, he'd load all the pictures he would have had developed into slides into the slide sorter and connect it to the projector.

This set-up process generally took a half hour.

He would call everyone into the living room, turn off the lights and off he'd go with the show. Each slide required an in-depth explanation of what was happening, where we were and who was in the picture. The slide shows almost always lasted hours and would often retell the stories of travel and relatives from before I was born.

More than once, when the show was over and the lights went on, one of the guests would be sitting upright, but sound asleep.

My sister and her husband celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary with a trip to Greece this past summer. She posted their photos to Shutterfly and sent off a link so everyone could see the slideshow.

She posted 692 photos. Six hundred and ninety-two photos! It took an hour and a half to watch.

As you can tell, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Tags: Observations | Just Me

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It's amazing what a year can do.

Two weeks ago, we spent Thanksgiving Day with dear friends and one of them made a profound observation. She hadn't seen Bug in about a year. She knew all about the abusive behavior he and our family had struggled through at the hands of Maple Street School Prinicpal Michael Bessette. She was expecting to talk with the same Bug she had talked to in the previous year - a beaten down little guy who had no self esteem left.

Instead, she was talking to a confident, engaging and happy 11 year old who laughed, joked and told her all about what a great school he's now attending and the fascinating stuff he's studying. It was such a striking change that she made a point to tell me about it.

Yes, a year has changed everything. Bug has been attending a charter school since September and is beginning to learn how to trust himself and his teachers again. He's succeeding where the nay-sayers at Maple Street School said he never would, earning only As and Bs on his last progress report. He is happy and hasn't complained about school once in the past three months.

I am so grateful we didn't accept what we were told would be all he could do at Maple Street School. I'm so grateful that his teachers at his new school weren't willing to accept it, either. They work with him, encourage him, cheer him on. They make him feel like he's a great kid with a great future.

It was never, ever the wrong decision to advocate vehemently for our son. And our greatest reward has been that our happy, bright and engaging little man is back.

Tags: Tom | Observations | Little Bug

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You know what? Everybody's talking these days about feeling out of control and needing to be in control. Truth is, they really, really, REALLY don't want control.

Because, in order to be in control, you need to make decisions. And when you make decisions, you're held accountable for them.

Yesterday and this morning, I exchanged a series of emails with a client about her needing a logo for some mugs she's ordering.

Now, in the course of how we conduct business, we conform to the belief that clients should ultimately control their brands and that they should be given every opportunity to make decisions. We hope, however, they see us as a valuable resource to help them make decisions. But, in the end, we try not to decide for them.

So, I asked what size logo she wanted. She repeated that it was for a mug.

OK. Got that. Let's try another way of asking. What size is the mug? She didn't know but sent a weblink to the mug's photo, which also contained no size information.

At the risk of not alienating her by asking again, we made a decision.

This was eerily familiar to a dance my wonderful husband and I do every dinnertime.

Me: What would you like to drink with your dinner?

Tom: I don't know. It doesn't matter. You choose.

Hmmm... Budweiser and Clamato? Prune juice? Raw eggs?

We have very similar discussions on any subject that requires a decision to be made, and now I'm seeing the exact same responses from Bug when he's asked to make a decision. Arrgh!

For good and bad, I'm a decision maker. I put it out there. I take the risk and I bear the consequences and the accolades - depending on which way it goes!

And that's probably why I don't worry about being in control. I already made a decision to be.

Tags: Just Me | Tom | Little Bug | Observations | Business

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I'm speaking in favor of implementing China's one-child rule worldwide, though probably not for the reason China has imposed such a harsh restriction in its citizens.

Officially, China's "family planning policy" restricts married, urban couples to having only one child, while allowing some exemptions. To those of us living in free societies, it seems like a rather Draconian measure to manage over-crowded cities. But, it exists.

And here I am, saying Bring It On! One child is plenty, because one child means not having to worry about sharing, specifically, spreading parental love across multiple children. Let's face it, too many parents fail in this area.

Case in point, Sky Metalwala, the missing toddler in Washington State. His mother, facing speculation that she has something to do with his disappearance a week ago, is reported to have a strong connection to her four-year-old daughter. It was also reported that photos of her daughter are displayed prominently on her Facebook page, but there are very few photos of her son.

I don't know if it's true, but if it is, it's not the first time a parent loved one child more than their others.

Now, let's not get our undies all twisted up in knots over what I've written. It's not a universal thing that parents can't love their children equially. It's just that some can't and some is too many.

Several weeks ago, I listened as Tom's relative described her father's admiration and love for her sister. "We all know how proud Dad is of her and how much he loves her." Now, in fairness, he does have good reason to be proud; she's a successful young woman. But her siblings are no less worthy of his pride and love. Each has had successes, conquered obstacles and have made good lives for themselves.

Tom and I have each experienced in our families the "special" sibling. My parents doted on my brother in such an excessive way that it impacted all of our relationships profoundly. Tom's father did the same with his brother. Every child in a family bears the scars of unequal parental love until the day they die.

I don't think parents who love one child more than their others are evil; they're to be pittied. They're blind to the harm it does to their other children and that's just sad. The feelings of loneliness and anguish in not understanding your unworthiness of your parents' love, the resentment that cannot be overcome in so many instances, and the life-long damage it does to families is beyond expression.

There were many reasons we chose to have just one child, and high on the list was not having to face the parental dilemma of loving one child more than others. It may sound harsh, but I don't regret having one child. He's the center of our world and that's absolutely fine. I couldn't bear the burden of hurting one of my children because of my love for another.

Tags: Observations | Tom | Little Bug

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